


'Till It Breaks You

by HubcapsAndAshtrays



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex goes rouge again, Angst, Dark, F/F, Moral Ambiguity, The other characters aside from Alex are just mentioned, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10510143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HubcapsAndAshtrays/pseuds/HubcapsAndAshtrays
Summary: Alex wasn't a hero.Kara operated in a world of stark blacks and whites: good and bad, right and wrong, just and unjust. She had a binary moral compass that always pointed north. But Alex knew that the real world didn’t work like that, there were no sharp dividing lines, just a murky grey area.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's dark folks.

Alex wasn’t a hero.

Despite the heroic pedestal that Kara had placed her on and regardless of what J’onn had said, Alex wasn’t a hero. And if the look in J’onn’s eyes when he had had to once  _ again _ talk her down from beating information out of a uncooperative prisoner was anything to go by, he might be slowly beginning to realise that.

Kara was a hero. She was exactly what National city needed, someone who fought for justice in the light of day, instead of scurrying around in the night like the masked ‘hero’s’ that had begun to pop up in nearby cities. Her sister was a true hero: idyllic, courageous, moral and always,  _ always _ searching for the best in people. 

Kara operated in a world of stark blacks and whites: good and bad, right and wrong, just and unjust. She had a binary moral compass that  _ always _ pointed north, that was what the people needed, it was what Kara needed. 

But Alex knew that the real world didn’t work like that, there were no sharp dividing lines, just a murky grey area, viscous and quicksand-like in its ability to completely pull you under.

The only reason that Kara was able to successfully operate in the irreproachable way that she did was due to events that took place in the shadows. Alex knew first hand that there were times when things like ‘morals’ and ‘self-righteousness’ had to be left behind in order to do what  _ needed _ to be done. Hope and faith weren’t always enough, and Alex was in no way willing to chance the safety of the people she loved on mere hope.

She guesses that she and Kara were like Yin and Yang in that way, complementary opposites.

Alex trails her fingers over a purposefully laid out steel pipe, the rust coating the pipe rough and jagged against her fingertips. 

There are eyes on her, she knows this even without looking up, sharp purple irises tracking her every move.

Alex picks up the pipe, briefly weighing it in her hands “Where are they?” she asks, voice deceptively calm.

She’s angry, desperate and terrified all at once. It’s a swirling hurricane of emotions blocking any and all rational thought. 

Alex finally glances up at the bleeding alien restrained in the centre of the room.

“I told you, i don’t know” he spits through clenched teeth.

The pipe drags against the cold floor as Alex approaches him, it’s a loud grating sound. The alien, to his credit, doesn’t even flinch.

“And yet, I don’t believe you” 

Maggie and Kara had been missing for nearly  _ five  _ hours now, they had been abducted in the middle a joint-mission-turned-Supergirl-trap. After too many hours and too little progress they had finally discovered that the abduction had been carried out by a group of hired mercenaries, it seemed that Maggie had just been collateral damage.

“You better start talking or things are going to get rough for you” Alex glances at the trail of cobalt blood trickling down from a large wound across the alien’s temple, the corner of her mouth quirks up “Well, a lot  _ more _ rough”

He glances at the pole in her grip and then straight into her eyes, completely silent, but Alex can see a small amount of fear there.

_ Good. _

Winn had managed to track one of the abductors down to an isolated industrial area, Alex had guilted him into keeping this information from J’onn and the other agents because she knew what would happen. He would be placed into a holding cell where he would refuse to speak, and they  _ still  _ would be no closer to rescuing Kara and Maggie.

Winn had given her one hour. It was more than enough.

“Please, i don’t know _ anything _ ” the alien pleads “I have a family, you’re making a huge mistake”

It would have been convincing if it had not been a lie.

J’onn would find out about this eventually, of course he would, he could read minds, it was practically useless trying to keep anything from him. But Alex would readily accept any and all repercussions, she would take any disciplinary action, hell, he could even fire her. She could live with that, What she couldn’t live with was losing the two most  _ important _ people in her life. Alex honestly didn’t think that she could survive that. 

Her loyalties had always lay with her family since the very beginning, she would do anything to protect them, even  _ this _ .

It was a more-than-necessary evil, for the greater good.

At least that was what she kept telling herself. She would do it again and again if it meant saving her family.

Maybe that made her a bad person, maybe it made her as good as the alien she had tied up in front of her, maybe, but that didn’t matter right now. She would gladly sacrifice her conscience and soul to save Maggie and Kara.

Sacrificing herself for the well being of others, it was the same thing that Supergirl did.

Yin and Yang.

Alex jabs the rusted end of the pipe into the aliens thigh.

He lets out a loud screech, that echoes in the abandoned workshop before quickly clenching his jaw and breathing hard through his nose “I don’t know anything”

More pressure,

He hisses through clenched teeth, there’s a pulsing vein jutting out of his neck.

Alex watches him writhe in detached fascination, she wondered if he was feeling even just a fraction of the pain that she felt, a fraction of the overwhelming fear and hopelessness that refused to abate even for a moment. 

A little longer,

And… Stop.

She yanks the pole from his thigh watching as blood drips from the wound, forming a small puddle on the cement floor.

Alex’s eyes are fixed on the growing puddle.

Was Maggie dead? She hadn’t been the abductors original target, meaning that she was expendable to whoever had hired them. had they killed her? Were they using her to force Kara to cooperate?

That was assuming, of course, that Kara was still alive.

“Tell me where they are!” She growls.

“Go to hell” He spits -punctuated by an actual glob of spit at her feet, seemingly done with playing the ‘mistaken identity’ card.

Alex jabs the pipe back into the bleeding wound, deepening it. He lets out a shrill yelp.

Would Kara hate her for this? Alex saw the look on her sister’s face after learning about her ‘incident’ in the holding cell. Would Maggie, the principled cop that she was, want nothing to do with her?

Would they understand?

“Here!” he suddenly cries out.

Alex pulls the pipe out of his thigh but doesn’t drop it. 

“What?”

His features twist into a cruel smile “Probably in a room like this, having the exact same thing done to them. My employer seemed like the sadistic type -kind of like you-”

She strikes him across his face with the pipe, hard but not hard enough to knock him unconscious, his face snaps to the side. 

“No more games” She hisses.

He lets out a hollow laugh “If i don’t tell you anything you’ll kill me, if i do you’ll still kill me. I’m kind of in what you humans would call a muddle here”

Alex frowns “Tell me where they are and i will let you go, you have my word”

He snorts “You think i haven’t seen this before? Of course i have, i know how this goes, it’s all the same, you’re all the same, we’re all the same”

“I’m trying to save my family, we are  _ not _ the same” Alex spits, disgusted with the comparison. 

He hums, bored “Call it what you like, don’t mean nothing to me”

Alex clenches her jaw “You better tell me something or else i upgrade to this” she threatens, pulling out her tactical knife.

“You enjoy this” He observes.

Alex flinches, she isn’t enjoying this, not even a little. She hates that she’s been forced to have to resort to  _ this _ .

“Tell me what i need to know” She demands with a slight tremor.

He stares at her in steely silence.

“They’re probably long dead now”

She drives the blade underneath his fingernail.

He screams.

_ Alex wasn’t a hero, and she didn’t want to be. _

“If i angle this upwards slightly, just like this” He winces as she moves the blade “Your fingernail will just sort of pop off”

She begins to lift the blade upward, his fingernail moving with it.

“The tunnels under the river!” He cries.

Alex narrows her eyes but doesn’t move the blade “Keep going”

“We delivered them to the tunnels underneath the river, i-i don’t know if they are still there” he says quickly.

Alex pulls her blade out.

“Kill me then, i’m dead anyway” 

She brings the knife down and in a swift motion and cuts him free, the alien cracks open an eyelid, shocked but relieved.

“You hurt and kidnapped two of the very few people i care most about in this world. But killing you isn’t going to help bring them back, it would only make me feel good and the city a lot safer”

“So why don’t you, i’m as good as dead, if not by you then by my employer” he was goading her and she wasn’t exactly sure why.

Alex sheathes her knife “Because i’m not a bad person” she says before leaving.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I guess i decided to revert back to what i'm (probably not) good at.... angst.


End file.
